thailand: the happiest place on earth

so i know what you're thinkin... long time no post. add to this that you may be aware that the thailand trip of which i write occurred about two months ago. what can i say? nothing terribly noteworthy happened between the hong kong and thailand trips, and i got infected with some sort of lethargitis in thailand... you know how pesky those exotic southeast asian diseases can be. in any case, here's my tale.

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i traveled to thailand on a friday night/ saturday. it was my first time taking a plane by my lonesome and i was a little paranoid, but everything went off without a hitch. well, there was a slight hitch. the night before i left i realized that i hadn't used my debit card in so long that i'd forgotten my pin number. so i had to call a drunken sandy and ask to borrow some money. but as it turned out, it was all to the good, because i later remembered my pin number and ended up needing both the money in my account and the money that sandy had lent me. a happy accident!

taxi, bus, plane, plane, van. it took an absurdly long time to get to thailand, but i got there. it was hot as hell. the resort that i stayed at was beautiful... here are some shots.

my bungalow... i couldn't find it at night

the first two days i lavished in the gloriousness of beach, ocean, thai massages and food (i'd be hard-pressed to tell you which is better), and gross old european dudes in thongs.

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on the third day, i got up offa that thang and went on a speedboat/ snorkeling/ kayaking trip. it was great fun and was peopled by significantly less old and gross european dudes in speedos.

i'm no geologist, but this rock looks like a gorilla!

and this one looks like a lion!

our tour guides told us that this was "the james bond rock". no one on the tour could figure out what the hell they meant by that. as it turns out, they meant that it was featured in the movie "the man with the golden gun." through researching this, i discovered that was a lie. while the rock in that movie strongly resembles this one, it is absolutely not the same rock. not bad for a non- geologist, huh?


we trekked up a treacherous staircase, and down another one, into a lagoon


here's the lagoon. the sweet german couple i befriended were not impressed by the advertised viewpoint, but i was.


this is some deserted beach we went to.

after all the festivities, we went to a tiny island village for lunch. a few adorable little local girls gave me some flowers. i am currently kicking myself for not taking a picture with them.

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on the fourth day, my homefries arrived! i was ecstatic to see them and we did some catching up. then we rented jetskis. it was my first time on a jetski, and jordan's maniacal driving at some point caused us both to go flying off of the thing, which left me with a grotesque bruise on my butt for the remainder of the trip. and when we got back into shore, everyone laughed at us, especially the jetski dudes.

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the next day we ventured into the jungle for a canopy tour. this is where you zip-line from one tree to the next. while the zip-lining itself wasn't all that scary, the trees were. there were 6 "treehouses" that you launched from/ landed on, and they were basically just wooden platforms built at a pretty high altitude around various trees. while you were standing on these platforms with 15 or so people waiting for people to launch or land, the tree itself was swaying. some "treehouses" swayed more than others. some swayed wayyy too much. but we all survived and it was a great time.

here's a video of me ziplining

that night, we hit up some of the local bars. while all of the thai people were pretty openly infatuated with jordan's stature ("what are you eating?" was an oft-heard question), it was the old european dudes who really brought it to the next level ("i'm not gay, but..." was an oft-heard opening). hilarity ensued.

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the next day was by far the most eventful of the trip. it was celia's birthday, and we celebrated in style. we went on a jungle safari that lasted for most of the day and brought us to the most notable and memorable places in the area. as this post is already far too long, i'm gonna do my best to let the pictures speak for themselves.

we held monkeys...

rode elephants...

saw a sweet crocodile show...

saw the "grandfather" and "grandmother" rocks (teehee)



swam in a waterfall...

saw a mummified monk...

and a temple...

went to "buddha's magic garden...

touched gigantic spiders

rode on the hood of a jeep...
i'm compelled to make a note here. don't let this picture fool you; riding on the top of this jeep was, without a doubt, the most terrifying thing i've ever done. celia and i took a turn in this seat on the most treacherous leg of the journey. the tour guides drive like maniacs, and get their kicks by mortifying tourists by pushing their vehicles to the absolute limits of their capabilities. celia and i did all that we could to just stay on the jeep, and our terror was so hilarious to the people riding in the jeep in front of us that they all captured the ride on personal videotape.

and saw the "big buddha"

after the day's exertions, we rested for a piece. then, we went to a mexican joint (a treat that i rarely get to partake in these days), and hit up the bars on chaweng beach, which is the party spot on the island. we danced the night away, and again, it was great fun.

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the next day was spent largely in recovery, aided by thai massages, manicures, pedicures, and the like. we spent a lot of time on the beach. celia and oz never fully recovered, so when the night came, jordan and i hit up an excellent brazilian restaurant, an ice bar, and again, chaweng beach for the party scene.

the ice bar... made enirely of ice (very gimmicky; only good for pictures!)

jordan in an ice tuk-tuk

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my last day in thailand was as depressing as you might suspect. i went out with celia and bought the things i absolutely had to buy before leaving (like gifts for my kickboxing instructors), packed, and left. every second that passed between me leaving the resort and me taking off on the plane was filled with visions of melodramatic movie scenes in which i jumped off of whichever vehicle i was at that point a passenger on and ran frantically back towards my friends. but, of course, it was real life, so i didn't do that. instead, i took an absurdly long trip back to gunsan, during which i got sick with some kind of flu. and when i got back, i remembered that it was test week, and i had to write repot cards for all 60-odd students that i teach.

fin.